Fiction Fragment Friday
This story started with the first two lines. I woke up and they came into my head. The story that grew from them is one that I could have never imagined intending to write. It had to grow organically from the writing. Readers may find the main character sympathetic or they may find him irredeemable. I don’t disagree with either view. He is a broken person, but there comes a point where everyone must accept responsibility for their own actions.
It’s been fifteen years since the first dead person stood up and started walking again. There are those among us in the community who have never known a world without them. In my youth, technology grew so quickly we would talk about how the next generation would never understand what the world was like before it. Little did we know that the very next generation after them would never understand how integrated that technology had been with society.
“Jay. Are you listening?”
I had, in fact, not been listening. Instead, my mind was lost in thought, focused on all the things that the dead had taken from us. After fifteen years, we had a secure community with walls, electricity, and food. It was practically a paradise compared to how we lived in the first few years, but the youngest among us didn’t know how much better it had been. There are the obvious things like the internet and cell phones of course. It was the less obvious losses that hurt the most.
Before the dead there was a global supply chain. The variety of food and entertainment would overwhelm these kids. They would never travel from city to city because it is still too dangerous to do so. Medications have become rare and treatments for long-term illnesses are almost unheard of.
“JAY.”
“I hear ya, I hear ya.” I put down my binoculars on the table and turned to look at the recruit. “What do you want?”
He shuffled on his feet, a bit obviously nervous to deliver his message. “I’m here to relieve you on watch, sir. General Michaels said you needed a break and to tell you to get lunch.”
“General Michaels. Well, you can tell my daughter that I’ll eat when I damn well decide it’s time.”
“She said when you said that to tell you it’s an order.”
I groaned audibly at hearing that. Of course, she would know how I would react. I hate that she can predict me so well and I don’t feel like I even know her anymore. It makes me feel like a failure as a father. We were supposed to leave them a better world than the one we were born into, but that didn’t happen. Our scientists just had to experiment with fungus, virus, and nanotech. I have no idea which one or blend of them caused the dead to stand up and start killing us.
I see the recruit hasn’t budged. “Fine, I’ll go.”
He took my binoculars and began his watch. I could tell right away that he would be more focused than I was. Not for the first time I wondered if my inability to prevent my mind from wandering would someday cost lives. Maybe I really shouldn’t still be on watch duty. I hated admitting my daughter was right. It is hard to let go and admit your child is more capable than you are. More accurately, you are no longer as capable as you used to be.
I entered the cafeteria, met by the scent of corn, potatoes, and chicken. I would give anything for a good steak, but we don’t have many cows. Half the people in the community have never even tasted beef. As my eyes adjusted to the lighting, they focused on my daughter sitting at a table by herself patting a chair for me. She already had a tray of food waiting.
“I’m not helpless, you know. I’m fully capable of getting my own food.” My voice came out more harshly than I wanted it to.
“I know. I figured this would give us more time to talk, though. Her voice was gentle, and I knew she was trying to avoid upsetting me.
“Is that an order, too?” Damn it I don’t want to fight with her, but I just can’t help myself. I saw the hurt on her face and hated myself for putting it there. Pride and shame are horrible feelings that drive a wedge between you and those you love. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes, you did, but I understand. You have to know I didn’t want to take your job.”
I did know. The town voted her in charge of the town guard. They felt I was too old and out of touch. It doesn’t hurt that she accepted the role. She is good at it. It doesn’t even hurt that the community doesn’t trust me. That isn’t true. Both do hurt, but they are not what hurts most. What hurts most is that the community was right. I’m not the man I used to be. Too much loss, too many injuries, and the weight of too many years. The fact that I’ve been so petty and let it come between us says more about my not being fit for the position anymore than anything else does.
“Your mom would be proud of you.” It isn’t what I want to say. I wanted to tell her that I was proud of her. Why is it so hard to say what I’m really feeling? I look up and see the tears in her eyes. She will not let them fall. Not in public. Trying to bury her emotions is one of my many negative traits that she inherited.
“I need to tell you something and considering how much you hate my husband, I’m not sure how you are going to feel about it.”
“Did he cheat on you? I’ll kill him.”
“No dad. He’s a good man, damn it. You just can’t see it.” The anger is so obvious in her voice that even I can’t miss it. She is right to be angry. Her husband is a good man, but he took my baby girl from me. They were too young to get married. In this modern world of the dead, that isn’t actually true and I know it. I can’t help that I grew up in a different world. I don’t like him, but he makes my daughter happy. Why can’t that be enough for me.
“Sorry.” I say it, but there is no conviction in my voice. I do mean it, but I can’t bring myself to get over the bitterness. “What do you need to tell me?”
“I’m pregnant. You’re going to be a grandpa.”
My heart was filled with joy, but my head was racing in many directions. What kind of world was this to bring a child into? How can she lead the town guard while she is pregnant? Is my good-for-nothing son-in-law going to be able to take care of them? She saw something in my face that she didn’t like. I’m not sure what the expression was, but I didn’t hide it well enough.
“I told him. I told him, but no Jeremy said that you would be happy for us. He still thinks he can win you over. After everything you have said to him over the years, he still thinks you have a heart in there somewhere. I tried to tell him any heart is a shriveled-up husk, but no he still defended you.”
Her words hit me harder than a punch to the gut. My son-in-law still defended me. He had hope for me that I couldn’t even generate for myself. “I am happy for you,” I say trying to put as much sincerity into my words as I can. “I’m just worried too.”
“Forget it. I’m done. Maybe once you hold your grandchild you can become human again.” She stood up and loudly bussed her tray.
I sat there and ate the rest of my lunch in silent self-loathing.