Fiction Fragment Friday

This is one of those stories that started with a sentence in my head that I needed to get out. In this case it is the first sentence in the second paragraph. I started writing from there and came back to add the first paragraph after for context and irreverence. I struggled a bit with the voice here because I started it as a more serious story and then Ricochet came out and took over. I hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing it.

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Hey everyone, it’s your old pal Ricochet here.  This week I’m hijacking Fiction Fragment Friday to talk about something near and dear to my heart.  Something I’m uniquely qualified to discuss.  This week we’re going to talk about being a broke superhero.

A lot has been said about being a superhero, but the one thing no one seems to talk about is just how expensive it can be.  That might be because most of the heroes who do interviews tend to be the ones that are independently wealthy.  I hope that doesn’t give away a community secret, but in most cases it really should be obvious.  If a hero has a suit of armor, their own plane, or even a car that is customized it’s safe to say that they are wealthy.  In case you didn’t notice I don’t have any of those things because I am not wealthy.    

The most obvious and basic expense is your costume.  Some heroes have suits designed, some make their own, and some even just wear plain clothes.  Whatever you wear though it is going to get destroyed.  Even if you don’t fight supervillains on a regular basis just saving people tends to damage your suit.  If you run into a burning building to save someone you might be able to get out without your suit catching fire, but it will smell like smoke and it is almost impossible to get that out.  You can expect to have your costume damaged at least once every three times you go out and more if you fight supervillains. 

So, let’s say you go with the cheapest costume you can possibly come up with and somehow manage to get it down under $20.  Then you manage to make it easy to repair so you don’t have to replace it constantly.  First off, I want to know how you did it so I can take notes.  You need to have multiple copies because it will get damaged and take time to repair or replace.  Three costumes are a bare minimum, so we are at $60 there.  If you can do your own repairs, then you still need materials, and that stuff isn’t cheap.  When I stared out, I based my costume on a deep-sea diving wetsuit that I modified.  I got it on clearance for $40 a piece and bought all of them I could afford that they had in my size. 

For all those middle-class folks out there I’m sure you are thinking that doesn’t sound too expensive.  Keep in mind that it is a recuring cost because they keep getting shredded.  Not only that but to keep a secret identity you must pay in cash while disguised and buy from multiple places to not create a pattern.  You don’t get good prices doing that and you can’t keep a consistent look buying from the clearance rack.  This is an extra expense on top of all your everyday expenses and you can’t write it off and keep a secret identity. 

Let’s talk about travel next.  I’m lucky and my powers let me bounce around the city.  It isn’t as fast as flying or superspeed, but it means I don’t have to have a vehicle if I stay a local hero.  You won’t see me flying around the world chasing bad guys and that can be limiting when you stumble onto something big.  If I need to go somewhere that doesn’t have tall buildings to bounce off of or flat roofs to run along, I’m screwed.  I’m also lucky that I can hop on top of the monorail trains and catch free rides that way.  Some heroes have to take taxis and change closer to the disaster or villain fight.  You certainly can’t use one of those apps because that creates a trail. 

One thing you learn quickly as a hero is how to bandage yourself up, so you don’t have to pay for treatment.  If you think medical expenses are expensive, try not running them through an insurance that will track you.  It’s hard enough as it is to get help without them trying to take off your mask.  You show up in plain clothes they have a lot of questions and repeated injuries just lead to more.  I’m lucky here too because I heal fast.  Even so I need to keep a lot of bandages and medical tape on hand at home and that stuff isn’t cheap when you go through it as fast as I do.  I know what you’re thinking and yeah it would be cheaper if I didn’t get beat up so much.  Let’s see you go out there fighting guys stronger than you and see how often you get beat up. 

Now let’s talk about day jobs.  See it’s pretty hard to keep a regular job when you disappear to go save people or constantly show up late because you were stopping a robbery.  Most jobs aren’t forgiving of things like that and if you get paid by the hour, they tend to track what you do even more.  Some people can put their work first and just do this as a weekend gig, but a guy like me I can’t not go out there if I know someone needs help.  I will always put the hero gig ahead of a day job and that means holding a regular job isn’t a possibility.  Try doing any kind of budgeting when you don’t have a consistent reliable income to start from.

That is why so many superheroes are independently wealthy.  It isn’t because they are more likely to get powers, but because most regular folks can’t afford to do it.  We either go bankrupt, get our identity exposed, or end up having to sign on to one of those corporate teams and give up any hope of a normal life outside the costume.  Not that you really can have a normal life doing this, but sometimes just fooling yourself into believing it’s possible is enough. 

So how do I manage it you ask.  Well, I made friends who can help.  I have a guy that can help if I get seriously hurt and do the work all off the books.  For costumes at this point I someone I saved is a tailor, but even then, he couldn’t afford to keep giving me suits for free, so he set up sponsorship deals.  That’s why my suit currently looks like a NASCAR jumpsuit.  Yeah, I look ridiculous, and this really isn’t going to work long term.  I am not ok with having Blimpie on my ass.  No problem with the New Delhi Deli on my back though.  That place is good.  For my tech, well yeah I got a guy.  He isn’t rich either, but he is super smart and doesn’t mind eating instant ramen to save up for the things he finds important. 

Speaking of food that is one thing being a superhero has helped me with.  First off, I have free lifetime fountain drinks from a convenience store I saved from a robbery.  Let me tell you I get my milage out of that one.  People constantly want to treat me to a hot dog or sandwich when I’m out in costume.  I’m a guy that is used to using instant rice to stretch meals so getting street food for free is kind of a big perk.  Also, when you fight bad guys, and it crashes into a restaurant no one seems to notice when you grab a bite or two from tables you are rushing past.  Plus, when you ask someone to toss you food of some kind, they always just assume you need it to fight the villain.  I have never once beaten a bad guy with a fried chicken wing.  I did once beat one with an order of Pad Thai, but that was kind of a one off. 

So basically, the point I’m trying to make in all of this is that if you see a Ricochet working a birthday party or a bar mitzvah don’t kick him in the junk or hit him in the knee with a wiffleball bat because it might just be the real me in the costume.  That’s right Jimmy Mankowitz it was really me you sprayed with that garden hose, and I’ll remember it if you ever need saving.  Aw who am I kidding I’d still save you because that’s what heroes do.          

Fiction Fragment Friday

This is one of those weeks where I didn’t come into it having an idea. I have a few regular fallbacks I go to when this happens and Ricochet is one of them. As I filled up the car with gas I recorded a message for myself with the first paragraph of this story. It was a scene and the rest just flowed from there. As usual I had no idea where it was going as I wrote it.

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The ground and the sky are spinning around me so fast that I feel like I’m going to puke. No wait, that’s not right. They must be staying in place, so I guess it’s me that’s spinning around.  Well, less spinning and more tumbling out of control through the air towards a billboard.  Of course it has to be a political billboard. I don’t want to die with the last thing I see being the face of that asshat Evelyn Thorne who’s pushing for superheroes that don’t work for the government to be arrested.  I might not be able to wipe that smug smile off the real Thorne’s face, but at least my body can mess up this picture of her. 

The impact hurts both when I hit the sign and when it collapses on top of me.  Even though the impact would be enough to shatter most people’s bones it doesn’t hurt me nearly as much as the aluminum splinter cuts from the debris.  See a while back I signed up for a bunch of drug trials to help pay for rent and walked out with superpowers and unpredictable side effects.  All said I hit the jackpot because no one else in that trial survived.  Well, no one officially survived at least.  If there were one super powered lady out there somewhere with a new name, I certainly wouldn’t know anything about that. 

My head felt a strange combination of pain and euphoria fighting for dominance.  Among other powers I absorb kinetic energy and convert it to make me stronger, faster, and more agile.  I would say it makes me better in every way, but it also has an intoxicating effect.  Sure, I am way funnier when on a power high, but I don’t tend to think things out before acting.  Thankfully I also heal fast after absorbing a lot of energy so the cuts on my body only take moments to clot.  For the record being hit so hard you fly through the air and smash through a billboard does generate a lot of energy.  If the hit doesn’t knock me out or kill me, I can recover from just about anything.

By the time I crawl out of the rubble I’m completely healed and so high on my own power I’m practically giddy.  I don’t like absorbing this much energy.  I have a lot of power and it takes control to use it responsibly.  It’s too easy to hurt someone when I get like this.  That thought is the only thing that keeps me holding on to a thread of control.  It feels like I’m in the backseat of my own body as I leap from the roof back into the street.  My body twists and turns to dodge the cars being flung through the air at me.  If I weren’t so out of it, I would be concerned about where they end up landing. 

I hit the ground feet first compressing my legs and leaping back forward at the small man standing in the street holding a finger up to his head.  When I bounced in the first time, he telekinetically flung a newspaper box into my stomach while I was still in the air.  As far as telekinetics go this guy is the strongest I have ever encountered.  Something deep in the back of my head was asking why he didn’t just hold me in place or fling me away instead of throwing things at me.  I can’t think about that now though because tiny toon over there is still flinging things at me. 

“You it really isn’t fair.  If I were tossing things around like that, I’d get pretty tired.  There you are though just flinging whatever you want at me and not even breaking a sweat.”  He didn’t answer, but I didn’t really think he would.  His kind of power requires concentration.  Probably a good thing I don’t have them because that is not my strong suit.  I’m not getting anywhere near him at this rate.  I need a distraction. 

I ripped a parking meter from the ground and flung it like a spear.  I’ve gotten pretty good at throwing things over the years, but when I’m out of my mind on my own powers my accuracy isn’t the best.  My meter doesn’t land anywhere near where I was aiming, but thankfully it was so far off I’m pretty sure the guy has no idea what I was aiming for.  I certainly was not trying to skewer a BMW through the roof. 

“You know this witty banter thing really works better when you give me something to riff off of.  Like what should I call you?  If you don’t give me a name, I’m telling the papers you go by Tiny Toon.”  The bench he was lifting hesitated and almost fell.  I had succeeded in making him angry  and by doing so he lost his concentration.  Taking advantage of the opportunity I flung a manhole cover like a frisbee. 

This time my aim was spot on.  The manhole cover smashes a fire hydrant next to the villain.  The water hits him full force knocking him off his feet.  He slips and slides trying to get to his feet, but all semblance of concentration is gone.  I don’t hesitate for a moment.  My fist meets his stomach, and his lunch comes up all over my suit.  Thankfully I’m being sprayed by water so it’s a quick cleanup.  I have no idea what set this guy off, but investigation isn’t really my thing.  I’m more of a hit a guy until they fall down kind of person.  This guy falls pretty fast.

The situation well in hand I survey my handiwork.  The street is destroyed.  Cars on their side or sticking out of storefront windows line the street.  Water not only flooded the street but is running into nearby stores.  Debris is everywhere and the street looks like a war zone.  I might not have done most of the damage, but I didn’t do anything to stop it either.  I was having too much fun to even think about that.  How many times do I need to relearn this lesson?  As the sirens get closer, I think it is time I get out of here.  I leap to the nearest roof and off into the night.  One more victory under my belt and all it cost was a neighborhood.  Since I had no idea why the guy was trashing the place before I got there I don’t even know if it was worth it.                    

Fiction Fragment Friday

Ok, this week is a bit of catharsis. It is an exaggerated tongue in cheek story to get out a personal frustration. It seems like no matter what the issue is if I try to use my homeowners insurance there will always be some reason the issue is not covered. If it is for some reason covered they will want the cheapest patch job and not to pay for a proper repair. It is infuriating and like most things that frustrate me it has inspired this story.

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                “Why do I bother paying a fortune for homeowners’ insurance when it literally never covers anything?”

                “Sir if you could please just calm down.  I understand how this could be upsetting, but your policy is quite extensive.  This one outlying case just doesn’t happen to be covered.”  The voice on the other end of the phone was exceedingly chipper, giving me the indication that she in fact did not understand how my situation could be upsetting.  Either that or she found enjoyment in the various contractual loopholes that always seemed to make my claims invalid.  I really needed to learn to be more careful in how much information I volunteered on these calls. 

                “Please help me understand how that could be the case.   I specifically increased my supervillain damage coverage to half a million last year.  A man crashes through my gazebo leaving a pile of rubble in my back yard and you are saying that isn’t covered?”   

                “That is correct sir.  I do see that you increased your policy last June.  However, you mentioned that this damage happened during the Ricochet vs the Global Defense Force fight this morning.  The problem is that neither of those parties are supervillains.  They are all categorized as heroes in our system.  If a villain were involved then your policy would have covered the damages, but as this was just one of those wacky cases of mistaken identity well, we just can’t approve your claim.”  I could just see the smugness in her voice as she lectured me like a schoolteacher with a slow learning student.

                “They were fighting because Ricochet has been helping a known felon.” 

                “Actually, as the suspect has yet to be apprehended, she has thus not been convicted of anything.  She technically is not a felon as we are innocent until proven guilty in this country.  There is a warrant out so Ricochet may have been committing a crime, but as of yet he has not been charged with anything.  So, you see no supervillains and your claim does not meet the requirements.”

                “What if they do charge him?  Would my claim be covered then?”

                “Oh no, he would have to be found guilty before a request to have his classification in our system updated could be filed.  Then it would go through a review process.  Generally, it takes four to six weeks to process a change of alignment form.”

                “Wait a minute there are a ton of supervillains that have never been caught.  Are you telling me that if any of them caused damage to my house I wouldn’t be covered?”  After numerous failed claim attempts over the past five years, I thought I was finally starting to understand just how stacked against a paying customer the system really was.

                “Well, that depends.”

                  “On what?”

                “Well, there are multiple ways an individual can be classified as a supervillain in our system.  If they, for example, describe themselves as such in a public setting we could update our listings.  Also, if the national registry of supervillains managed by the FBI were to include them that would meet the requirements.  The criteria is up for interpretation by one of our insurance claims adjusters.  If you would like to put in a request to have an adjuster review Ricochet’s status, we could start that process.”

                “The process that would take four to six weeks?”

                “No that that is the reclassification process once criteria are verified to be met.  The average assessment takes thirty to sixty days.  Would you like me to start that paperwork for you?”

                I stared out my kitchen window at the pile of wood and watched my dog pee on what used to be the roof of my gazebo.  I was worried about leaving him alone out back amidst the rubble, but so far, he had not hurt himself.  “I suppose so.  That means I’m going to have a big pile of dangerous wood splinters and nails in my backyard for a while.”

                “Oh, I don’t recommend that.  You should have that fixed and the debris hauled away immediately.   Just save the receipts for reimbursement.”

                “If I could afford to do that, I wouldn’t need insurance now, would I?  I thought I had insurance to protect me when things like this happen.”

                “Sir, please just be aware that what you described is a safety hazard.  I have made a note in your file that you are aware of it.  If someone were to be injured after the first week and you have not made an effort to remediate the issue it would not be covered by your homeowner’s policy as it was an unattended known hazard.”

                “This call is me trying to remediate it.”  By this point I was struggling to not just yell into the phone.  I’ve been through this before though.  That’s what she wants me to do.  If I yelled, she could say I’m being belligerent an she can hang up on me.  No, I wasn’t going to play into her hand like that.  “Please start the paperwork to have an adjuster review my case and his classification.”

                “Excellent.  Please hold.” 

                Why is it that they pick the worst earworm songs for insurance agency hold music?  If it isn’t The Girl from Ipanema it’s this ridiculous song about working all day.  This time though it was a song about a camel liking to dance.  It made no sense at all, but there it was running through my head, and I just couldn’t get it out even though I didn’t know the words.  It’s bad enough when you know the lyrics, but when you only know a few words that part of the song will just loop over and over until you want to throw something. When I was finally ready to scream, she came back on the line.

                “Hello sir, are you still on the line?”

                “Yes, I’m here.”   That is obstacle two.  If they can get you to hang up because you are sick of the hold music, then you have to start the whole process over again.

                “I have started the process and have a case number for you.  It is RBC728512.  You will of course get an email that summarizes our call an provides you this as well.  It looks like your adjuster will be…  oh my that does not bode well for you.”

                “What now?”

                “Well, you have been assigned Connie Vera.  Excellent adjustor.  In fact she is one of our best.”

                “Why is that a bad for me?”

                “Normally it wouldn’t be.  Last week though she was in Reignsborough National over on second street when Honey Badger tried to rob it.  He got hungry and decided that she looked tasty.   She was seconds away from being eaten, but then..”

                “Let me guess.  Ricochet showed up and saved her life.”

                “Busted right through the skylight and kicked him in the face.  I’m glad they aren’t insured with us because that elaborate of glasswork would have to be expensive to replace.”

                I groaned in exasperation.  “Oh, I’m sure you would find some loophole to make sure it wasn’t covered.  Perhaps a clause that the damage was done by the hero and not the villain.”

                “That’s good.  I’m going to write that one down.”  I think she realized what she said a moment after it came out, because she sounded flustered as she backpedaled.  “Uhm, to make sure that no one tries that on one of our customers.  We are here to help after all.  Speaking of which now that your claim is filed is there anything else I can help you with?”

                “No, not at this time.”  I was done and just wanted off the phone at that point.

                “Then thank you for calling Mutual of Reignsborough.  Remember when bad things happen we will also be there.” 

Fiction Fragment Friday

I had multiple ideas for a story this week, but settled on my first sentence as an inspiration. I don’t know where I came up with that sentence, but I liked it and decided to see where it went. Imagine my surprise when I realized I was writing a Ricochet story. It was not my intent, but it made complete sense with the conversation that was happening. I thought about using another superhero I created called Cobalt, but I struggled to decide what the difficult conversation would be with him. I also find myself not wanting to return to that character because when I created him he has a terrible tragedy in his past and having written a Fiction Fragment Friday prequel to that story I just don’t want to put him through it.

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                “It’s long past time we had a serious talk.”  I have faced off against some of the most terrifying supervillains Reignsborough has to offer, but none of them caused the kind of fear that hearing those words come out of a girlfriend’s mouth does.  It may not always be phrased exactly like that, but I think I’ve heard pretty much every version of that particular conversation starter there is.  None of them are ever followed by anything I would call pleasant. 

                “Uh, ok Susie what’s on your mind?”  I figured I would try to get straight to it.  Avoiding the conversation wasn’t going to make it any easier. 

                “You canceled the last three dates we were supposed to have and each time it was at the last minute with an excuse as flimsy as those cheap paper plates you buy.  I know it isn’t work keeping you out at night because you haven’t had a decent gig in months.  Stand up comedy doesn’t exactly lend itself to work emergencies.”

                “Now hon you know I do odd jobs and pick up extra work when I can get it.  Sometimes that stuff just pops up at a moment’s notice.”

                She reached over to my counter and picked up a pile of bills.  “If that were it maybe you would have the money to pay for these, but no you are just as poor as ever.” 

                “Ouch.  I know my act hasn’t really taken off, but that’s kind of harsh.”

                “You want to talk about harsh?”  At this point she was yelling and threw the pile of bills against my chest.  “How about sitting in the middle of a restaurant with my parents trying to convince them that you wouldn’t possibly stand me up when you were supposed to meet them.  Then trying to come up with reasons why I actually like you when you do just that.”

                “Oh, that was tonight wasn’t it.”  I had been dealing with a supervillain hostage situation downtown and had completely forgotten about the dinner.  When I got back to my apartment, I had to take a shower to get rid of the smoke smell from when they lit the office building on fire.  I had no idea how I was going to get the smell out of my costume.  After that I was so tired, I was just going to collapse in bed until I heard a loud banging on my front door.  That led to this rather unpleasant conversation. 

                “Yes, it was tonight.  I’ve been reminding you every day for the last two weeks.  I tried calling you all night and you didn’t answer.  I have to ask; do you care about me at all?  Are you trying to push me away or are you just so self-centered that other people never even cross your mind.”     

                “Of course, I care about you.”  I needed an excuse fast.  “Look I’m really sorry about tonight.  I promise I’ll make it up to you.”  Even I knew that line wouldn’t work.  It never had before. 

                “That’s what you always say, and you know what?  You’ve never made anything up to me.  You just keep letting me down over and over again.  This is your last chance.  I want an honest answer with none of your usual deflections.   Where were you tonight?  What was more important than meeting my parents?”  She crossed her arms over her chest and stood there waiting for my answer.  I knew that the next words out of my mouth would determine my relationship status.  The one thing I couldn’t tell her was the truth though.  I couldn’t risk giving away my secret identity. 

                “Nothing is more important than you.  I just fell asleep, and my phone battery died.” 

                When she slapped me, my powers took the kinetic energy and absorbed it to feed my strength, agility, and healing.  I knew that she put all her strength into it, but the hit barely registered.  I think my perspective might have been skewed after a night of being hit by the Bash-em brothers.  They are actual brothers with super strength.  They went into professional wrestling when they first got their powers but decided that it was too much work when they could just rob banks.  “You are a terrible liar, but you just had to try, didn’t you?  Your phone is right here on the counter with a 50% charge.  Plus, I called Mrs. Wilson and had her come over and bang on your door.” 

                “Who’s Mrs. Wilson?”

                “Your neighbor.  How have you lived here for over a year without learning any of your neighbor’s names?  No, don’t answer that.  You are just deflecting again.”  It might have looked like I was deflecting, but I’m really not that clever.  I actually don’t know any of my neighbors’ names.  To be honest I can’t remember the last time I had gone out my front door instead of out my window in costume.  It’s just so much faster to bounce around the city and change when I get there than it is to take the train.  It’s a lot more fun too. 

                For a moment I thought about opening up and telling her I was Ricochet.  It would be so nice to have someone to talk to about it and maybe get some support.  On the other hand, I wasn’t sure how serious she was about us and I didn’t want an angry ex out there knowing my identity.  Just knowing had a habit of putting people in danger.  At this point I wasn’t sure if even the truth would be enough to make up for all the missed dates and my inability to get her anything nice. 

                “I don’t know what to say.  I must have slept through it.”  Even I heard the resignation in my voice.  I knew what was going to come next.

                “Well, you’re going to have plenty of time to sleep now.  I’m done.  I deserve someone who is going to make me feel important to them.  I deserve to not have to make excused to my friends and family about why my boyfriend isn’t around.”  She punctuated her final sentence with pokes to my chest.  “I deserve better than you.” 

                I didn’t try to change her mind or beg as she headed to the door.  It had never helped in the past and I knew it wouldn’t this time.  A couple pictures fell off the wall as she slammed my front door on her way out.  I didn’t bother picking them up.  They would always be there to deal with in the morning.  Unlike my love life which was once again dead.  That left me with two choices for the night.  I could think about what had just happened and really take a look at my life.  Examine my choices and ask myself those difficult questions about my future.

                That was not going to happen, so I went with option number two.  In a few minutes I was suited up in my smoke smelling costume and climbing out my window onto the fire escape.  Sure, I could examine my life and self-evaluate, but I’m sure there were bad guys out there that needed punching.  It wouldn’t hurt that using my powers had an intoxicating effect that would keep me from focusing on much of anything.  Nope never let it be said that I was a self-aware superhero, not when I have any other option to avoid that.   

Fiction Fragment Friday

Sometimes I might struggle with coming up with an idea because something else get’s stuck in my head. I think when that happens it’s best to go back to the stories and characters that I’m the most comfortable with. This time is a slightly different perspective. Hope you enjoy.

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     “You know everything was going pretty well, but life kind of sucks now.  My best friend had to leave town so she could hide from a super powered gang boss.  The scientist that made all my cool stuff got a job in New York.  My girlfriend left me days before I got superpowers, and my first ever high paying job turned out to be working for a super-villain.  Makes a guy think he might just have bad luck.”

     “Please I’m begging you just arrest me already.”  The mugger was hanging upside down over the edge of a roof with Ricochet holding him by is left ankle.  He had lost track of how long he had been there having to listen to this supposed superhero rambling on and on.   “I’ll confess just please stop talking.”

     “Well, that’s kind of rude.”  Ricochet tossed him onto the roof where he rolled until smashing into the air conditioner.  It sputtered, sparked, and then the fan stopped spinning.  “Oh, I am not paying for that.”  He leapt through the sky and landed in a crouch next to the mugger.  “Uhm if anyone asks that was your fault ok?”

     “Sure man, whatever you say.”  He hurt all over.  First the hero head tossed him around the alley, then dragged him up the fire escape backwards, and now he was pretty sure the air conditioner had cracked a rib. 

     “You know this talk was good.  I think I needed it.  Thanks for that.”

     “That mean you’re gonna let me go?”  The words came out with a grunt.  It was starting to hurt to breathe.

     Ricochet laughed.  “Oh, that’s a good one.  Wait you were serious?  No man I’m gonna drop you off with that patrol when they get out of the convenience store.  I would take you in, but they kinda banned me for too much collateral damage.  I mean really some people have no appreciation.  Jeremy over on twelfth gave me free fountain drinks for life, but this guy no. 

     Tears of pain and frustration filled the mugger’s eyes.  “Do you every shut up?”

     Ricochet tossed the man over his shoulder and sprinted across the roof.  Just before the edge he leapt into the air and spun.  As soon as his feet his the next roof he rebounded and moved onto the next.  After making a loop around the neighborhood he flung them from the roof towards the convenience store wall.  His legs compressed against and pushed off.  As the two spun over the patrol car he dropped the mugger onto the front hood.  He was happy to notice that it barely dented the car this time. 

     “Hello officers, have a great day.  Enjoy your gift, from the rambling Ricochet.”  With those parting words the hero disappeared into the night.  He didn’t go quietly though as the mugger and police officers could hear him singing something to the tune of “Gummy Bears” as he bounced away.

     Officer Mendel rushed to his car to check on the man.  His partner officer Melvin threw her coffee against the ground while cussing.  “So help me if the car doesn’t start I’m going hunt that bouncing idiot to the ends of the Earth.  Last week the blamed fool dropped one right into my windshield shattering it.  He’s worse than the actual bad guys.”

     “He just wouldn’t shut up.  He dragged me around just rambling on and on and on.”

     Mendel helped him to his feet.  “Wanna confess now or wait until we get to the precinct?”

     “What makes you think I’m gonna tell you anything?”

     “Let me tell you about the last guy that didn’t.  See as soon as we let him go Ricochet grabbed him and bounced around until they were on top of the tallest building in Reignsborough.  Then he started singing.  Said he was working on an album.  Called it ‘Bouncing Back: Songs to Punch Bad Guys To’ Apparently every song was just a theme song about him.  Said he couldn’t get it narrowed down to just twelve, so he made the guy listen to all thirty-seven.  Every time he reached a big moment in a song, he would do a pose and drop the guy.  Caught him before he hit the ground and took him back to the roof each time.  That’s not the worst part though.”  Officer Mendel paused for effect.

     “What was the worst part?”  The mugger’s voice was cracking now.

     “Well each time that happened he had to restart the song from the beginning.  Sometimes it took three tries to get through the song.”

                “Do you want my confession verbally or in writing?”