Fiction Fragment Friday
Ok, this one was fun to write. It felt like something I would have written a few years ago more than the things I have written lately.
“You are so beautiful.”
Her head tilted to the side, appraising me in the manner of a pet dog. “You compliment the woman who is going to kill you? It will not grant you any mercy.”
Ok I admit it wasn’t my brightest moment. In fairness, though, the Crimson Sorceress really was hot. Her long red hair hung down over pale, bare shoulders. It was her eyes, filled with fire, that really drew me in, though. That’s not a figure of speech either. You can see actual flames in her pupils. I won’t discuss what she was wearing lest you think I was a pig for noticing it.
“Well, you don’t have to kill me. We could talk.”
“You have entered my home uninvited. If I let someone do that and live, it would set a bad precedent.” She stated it plainly, without emotion. It wasn’t a threat, but just a simple statement of fact.
“See, that would be a horrible waste of my talents.” I spun with a flourish, letting my cape catch the wind. With the slightest touch of magic, I summoned my favorite guitar into my hands. When facing her again, I strummed a chord. “For you see, I am a bard. I can spread your legend far and wide.”
“I am already feared far and wide.”
“Ah, but feared for what others say about you. How much greater would it be to choose what is said about you? None of those stories speak of your magnificent beauty or the power I can feel radiating off of you. I could do that for you if you would but let me live.”
“A bard,” she said with contempt in her voice. “Tell me foolish bard. Why would you dare enter my home? Did you not realize I would tear your skin from your body?”
“Well, you weren’t supposed to be here,” I mumbled to myself.
“What was that?”
“Why, to see you, of course. To see you with mine own two eyes.” My party was supposed to cause a distraction to draw her away from the castle. Something had obviously gone wrong.
“Then it had nothing to do with my possessing the only cure for the curse inflicted upon Princess Felicia? I hear the reward has gotten very large.”
“What is money to one such as I?” Except for everything I want and don’t have that is. Of course, I was there for the cure. I wasn’t about to admit I was going to rob her though.
“Certainly not something you have if your outfit is any indication.”
Now, that was just rude. Sure, my leather armor wasn’t the best and my breeches had a few holes, but my hat is spectacular.
“Especially that gaudy, one-feathered hat.”
“Who are you to judge my fashion sense? I’m pretty sure this gaudy hat has more material in it than your entire outfit.”
She laughed. The single most powerful and scary individual I have ever been face to face with laughed. “Considering how garishly oversized it is I just might have to concede that point. The difference is…” She ran her hands up and down her body. “I make this look good.”
She wasn’t wrong, and it pissed me off that she knew it. “Be that as it may, it must get very lonely in this rather large empty mansion.” I took the hat off and gave her my very best smile.
“You are a bold one bard. I will give you that.” She smiled back at me and sat down on her throne. I did not let out a whimper as she crossed her legs, and you cannot prove otherwise. I certainly didn’t say anything because at that moment I could barely breathe. “What should I call you bard? I wish to know the names of those that I kill.”
I cleared my very dry throat before answering with a bow. “I am Sir William Parks. The Bard’s Bard at your service.”
“And just what kind of service do you think you could provide me with that I might spare your life?”
In that moment, I felt like a piece of meat dangling before a hungry beast. So, I did what I do best. I sang. I sang a song of her beauty and power. A song of flattery. Then I sang a song of my own prowess. I sang while our party thief elsewhere in the mansion stole the cure that I had been there to get.
So, you see, yes, I did spend the night with the Crimson Sorceress. I was not however, being lazy or a lecherous fool as you so slanderously claimed. I was merely providing the distraction that you were supposed to have given me so our thief could complete the mission. I bedded her not for my own glorification but in the ultimate act of teamwork.
Feel free to apologize any time now.