Fiction Fragment Friday
It has been a few weeks since I’ve posted a new story. They have been extremely busy weeks, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been working on creative things. I have two stories in progress and have had a story accepted into an anthology.
I am working my way through the Dungeon Crawler Carl series and it very obviously influenced this weeks tale.
“Quest completed. Prevent the apocalypse.”
The voice came from all directions, accompanied by the words floating in the air in front of me. It startled me so badly I choked on my fountain drink. Seriously, how do you even choke on a fountain drink?
“What? Who said that?”
I turned all around, trying to find the source of the voice, but I was still alone in my living room. The TV wasn’t turned on so it couldn’t have been the source either. The room was completely silent. Then came a clinking sound. First one, then another, as it sped up. I felt something hit the top of my head and looked up to see what it was.
Thousands of gold coins showered me from above. I covered my head and dropped to my knees under the weight of them.
“You are over encumbered.”
Despite having my eyes closed, I still saw the words that came along with the voice.
“Oh, come on.”
When I tried to stand up, a pair of blue jeans fell on my head, covering my face. My foot slipped on the coins, and I fell on my back. I pulled the jeans from over my eyes and noticed there was text floating above them. Denim Pants: 10AC +1 Charisma +1 Carry Capacity. The words faded away after I read them.
“Preventing the apocalypse is only worth a pile of coins and a pair of blue jeans?”
I didn’t expect a reply, but it was still frustrating to not get one. In fairness, I had no idea how I had prevented the apocalypse or what the apocalypse would have been. Stopping it only required sitting on the couch, drinking a soda, and farting so badly that I was standing up to leave the room. Not really an epic level of difficulty. Maybe the reward wasn’t so mismatched after all.
As I lay there, I wondered what other video game aspects might work. “Inventory. Storage. Status.” I tried thinking the words before saying them, but neither method did anything. I felt extremely stupid.
It involved more slipping and sliding on coins than I care to admit, but I managed to make it to my feet. A throbbing pain in my back and a pulled muscle in my leg reminded me that I was not exactly an action hero. I limped my way into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My face stared back at me with a line of text above it. Level One Human. Class: Perpetual Underachiever.
“Really?” I said as I looked up at the ceiling. “Screw you.”
The text over my head that declared my class changed from perpetual underachiever to whiny little bitch. I just shook my head in disgust and went back to the living room. The pile of coins was gone. Confusion fought with outrage in my head before it finally made sense. I hadn’t picked them up, so the coins and pants had despawned.
After everything that had just happened, I did the only thing that made logical sense. I went back to bed and hoped that it all went away before I woke up.