Fiction Fragment Friday
This week was a struggle for inspiration until I had a first line pop into my head. I think there is an interesting story that could come from that line, but I’m going to be honest and say this is not it. This is the story you get from a version of me that had a root canal among other dental work this week and all the stress that comes from that. At least it is short though.
“I’m sorry, but Earth doesn’t seem to exist.”
“What do you mean Earth doesn’t exist? I’ve been waiting 14 hours in line to register my ship because some space police officer says I have to and now you are trying to tell me that my planet doesn’t exist.”
The creature I could only assume was an elderly woman twitched her antenna and blew out breath from the gill like organs on her neck. Her three eyes narrowed on me. “I’m sure you come from a perfectly fine planet, but it isn’t in my database. I can’t process the request to register your ship without a valid home planet to associate it with.”
“Well how do I get my planet in your database?”
“All valid planets are already in my database. I’m sorry, but as far as the Department of Intergalactic Vehicles is concerned Earth does not exist. Please come back when you are from a real planet.” With the press of a button the force field that separated us turned a dark grey blocking out my view of her.
Feeling dejected, I slumped down onto a seat in the waiting room with my head in my hands. I was so despondent I didn’t even notice someone sit down next to me.
“What’s got you so down?” The alien was a two-foot-tall purple thing wearing a silver jumpsuit. It had a large smile on its face that looked about twice as big as it should be.
I figured I had nothing to lose. “I’m a scientist. I built my own spaceship and as far as I know I’m the first person from my planet to make it out of our solar system. My ship got impounded for not having a transponder so here I am at the DIV trying to register my ship, but they don’t have Earth in the database. I’m thousands of lightyears from home and can’t get my ship back because they say my planet doesn’t exist.”
“Well now that does sound rough, but today is your lucky day. You are looking at a level 17 bureaucrat.” He reached behind his back and pulled out a briefcase that was almost larger than he was. I had no idea where it had come from. After rifling around, he handed me a form
“Form 18c-5 request for planetary acknowledgement.”
“Yep, you fill that out, turn it in on floor seven, and by this time tomorrow your planet will exist in the database. Long as you can get two officials to vouch for it. I can be one of those.
“You would vouch for a planet you’ve never been to?”
“Oh, I’ve been to Earth. They wrote a stupid song about me. I won’t hold that against you though.”
I took a closer look at the little purple guy and took note of a few things. He had only one big eye and a long horn on the top of his head. “Where do I find another official that will vouch for Earth?”
“I might be able to help you out there too, but what’s in it for me?”
“What could I possibly offer you? I don’t even have my ship at the moment.”
“Ah, but if you get your paperwork handled then you will and that is when you can help me. I need a ride to Earth so I can get a selfie with a cow.”
“A selfie with a cow?”
“Long story, don’t ask, let’s just say it will let me win a bet.”
“You have yourself a deal.” That is how I found myself shaking a tiny purple alien hand in a DIV office thousands of light years from home.