Fiction Fragment Friday
This is one of those stories that started with a sentence in my head that I needed to get out. In this case it is the first sentence in the second paragraph. I started writing from there and came back to add the first paragraph after for context and irreverence. I struggled a bit with the voice here because I started it as a more serious story and then Ricochet came out and took over. I hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Hey everyone, it’s your old pal Ricochet here. This week I’m hijacking Fiction Fragment Friday to talk about something near and dear to my heart. Something I’m uniquely qualified to discuss. This week we’re going to talk about being a broke superhero.
A lot has been said about being a superhero, but the one thing no one seems to talk about is just how expensive it can be. That might be because most of the heroes who do interviews tend to be the ones that are independently wealthy. I hope that doesn’t give away a community secret, but in most cases it really should be obvious. If a hero has a suit of armor, their own plane, or even a car that is customized it’s safe to say that they are wealthy. In case you didn’t notice I don’t have any of those things because I am not wealthy.
The most obvious and basic expense is your costume. Some heroes have suits designed, some make their own, and some even just wear plain clothes. Whatever you wear though it is going to get destroyed. Even if you don’t fight supervillains on a regular basis just saving people tends to damage your suit. If you run into a burning building to save someone you might be able to get out without your suit catching fire, but it will smell like smoke and it is almost impossible to get that out. You can expect to have your costume damaged at least once every three times you go out and more if you fight supervillains.
So, let’s say you go with the cheapest costume you can possibly come up with and somehow manage to get it down under $20. Then you manage to make it easy to repair so you don’t have to replace it constantly. First off, I want to know how you did it so I can take notes. You need to have multiple copies because it will get damaged and take time to repair or replace. Three costumes are a bare minimum, so we are at $60 there. If you can do your own repairs, then you still need materials, and that stuff isn’t cheap. When I stared out, I based my costume on a deep-sea diving wetsuit that I modified. I got it on clearance for $40 a piece and bought all of them I could afford that they had in my size.
For all those middle-class folks out there I’m sure you are thinking that doesn’t sound too expensive. Keep in mind that it is a recuring cost because they keep getting shredded. Not only that but to keep a secret identity you must pay in cash while disguised and buy from multiple places to not create a pattern. You don’t get good prices doing that and you can’t keep a consistent look buying from the clearance rack. This is an extra expense on top of all your everyday expenses and you can’t write it off and keep a secret identity.
Let’s talk about travel next. I’m lucky and my powers let me bounce around the city. It isn’t as fast as flying or superspeed, but it means I don’t have to have a vehicle if I stay a local hero. You won’t see me flying around the world chasing bad guys and that can be limiting when you stumble onto something big. If I need to go somewhere that doesn’t have tall buildings to bounce off of or flat roofs to run along, I’m screwed. I’m also lucky that I can hop on top of the monorail trains and catch free rides that way. Some heroes have to take taxis and change closer to the disaster or villain fight. You certainly can’t use one of those apps because that creates a trail.
One thing you learn quickly as a hero is how to bandage yourself up, so you don’t have to pay for treatment. If you think medical expenses are expensive, try not running them through an insurance that will track you. It’s hard enough as it is to get help without them trying to take off your mask. You show up in plain clothes they have a lot of questions and repeated injuries just lead to more. I’m lucky here too because I heal fast. Even so I need to keep a lot of bandages and medical tape on hand at home and that stuff isn’t cheap when you go through it as fast as I do. I know what you’re thinking and yeah it would be cheaper if I didn’t get beat up so much. Let’s see you go out there fighting guys stronger than you and see how often you get beat up.
Now let’s talk about day jobs. See it’s pretty hard to keep a regular job when you disappear to go save people or constantly show up late because you were stopping a robbery. Most jobs aren’t forgiving of things like that and if you get paid by the hour, they tend to track what you do even more. Some people can put their work first and just do this as a weekend gig, but a guy like me I can’t not go out there if I know someone needs help. I will always put the hero gig ahead of a day job and that means holding a regular job isn’t a possibility. Try doing any kind of budgeting when you don’t have a consistent reliable income to start from.
That is why so many superheroes are independently wealthy. It isn’t because they are more likely to get powers, but because most regular folks can’t afford to do it. We either go bankrupt, get our identity exposed, or end up having to sign on to one of those corporate teams and give up any hope of a normal life outside the costume. Not that you really can have a normal life doing this, but sometimes just fooling yourself into believing it’s possible is enough.
So how do I manage it you ask. Well, I made friends who can help. I have a guy that can help if I get seriously hurt and do the work all off the books. For costumes at this point I someone I saved is a tailor, but even then, he couldn’t afford to keep giving me suits for free, so he set up sponsorship deals. That’s why my suit currently looks like a NASCAR jumpsuit. Yeah, I look ridiculous, and this really isn’t going to work long term. I am not ok with having Blimpie on my ass. No problem with the New Delhi Deli on my back though. That place is good. For my tech, well yeah I got a guy. He isn’t rich either, but he is super smart and doesn’t mind eating instant ramen to save up for the things he finds important.
Speaking of food that is one thing being a superhero has helped me with. First off, I have free lifetime fountain drinks from a convenience store I saved from a robbery. Let me tell you I get my milage out of that one. People constantly want to treat me to a hot dog or sandwich when I’m out in costume. I’m a guy that is used to using instant rice to stretch meals so getting street food for free is kind of a big perk. Also, when you fight bad guys, and it crashes into a restaurant no one seems to notice when you grab a bite or two from tables you are rushing past. Plus, when you ask someone to toss you food of some kind, they always just assume you need it to fight the villain. I have never once beaten a bad guy with a fried chicken wing. I did once beat one with an order of Pad Thai, but that was kind of a one off.
So basically, the point I’m trying to make in all of this is that if you see a Ricochet working a birthday party or a bar mitzvah don’t kick him in the junk or hit him in the knee with a wiffleball bat because it might just be the real me in the costume. That’s right Jimmy Mankowitz it was really me you sprayed with that garden hose, and I’ll remember it if you ever need saving. Aw who am I kidding I’d still save you because that’s what heroes do.
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