Fiction Fragment Friday

I’ve said this before, but I really enjoy trying new ways to tell a story with flash fiction. I have done product brochures, logs, and help manuals in the past. For this week I am character building with a To Do list. I’m not sure what put the idea in my head, but once it was there I had to write it.

Intelligence Report 57243 submitted for immediate analysis. 

Data Source:  Worm resident in the supervillain Professor Magnificent’s computer system.

December 22, 2023, To Do List

  • Log into the community site for the Star Wars prequels and post a large diatribe about how the sequels are better.  Ensure to point out that anyone who disagrees just doesn’t understand them.
  • Log into the community site for the Star Wars sequels and post a large diatribe about how the sequels destroyed all the promise of the prequels.  Ensure to point out that anyone who disagrees just does not grasp the complexities presented in the prequels.
  • Log into the community site for the original Star Wars trilogy and post a large diatribe about how the original series is dated and can’t hold up to anything that has come since.  When anyone replies just answer with, “Ok Boomer.”     
  • Eat Breakfast.
  • Spend two hours replying to comments on social media with spoilers for recent movies and TV episodes.  If the media was based on a book make sure to point out how much better the adaptation is than the original.    
  • Walk the dogs.  Make sure they poop in Mrs. Miller’s yard down the street and do not clean it up. 
  • Eat Lunch. 
  • Practice monologuing in the mirror to get it just right. 
  • Go to a crowded office building, pick a bathroom, and poop.  Do not give a courtesy flush, or any flush for that matter.  When done empty the toilet paper roll down to just three squares in each stall.
  • Spent an hour marketing my NFTs.  Belittle anyone that dare’s challenge the intelligence of NFTs as an investment option.  Dismiss any concerns and insult the intelligence of anyone who may challenge me. 
  • Google myself.  Make a list of anyone who posts negative stories about me for future revenge.  Lauch denial of service attacks against the sites hosting those stories.  Finish internet time by signing my enemies up for as many mailing lists as I can find. 
  • Plan out my To Do list for the weekend.  Ensure my minion coordinates with all the hired help.  I should probably learn his name at some point.  Perhaps I’ll add that to my to do list for the weekend if there is time. 
  • Torture Captain Cool in the basement unless he has escaped again.  I don’t know how he manages to keep escaping from my death traps.  Perhaps I should stay and watch the trap kill him, but I really don’t like the sight of blood. 
  • Eat Dinner.
  • Spent two hours in the lab working on my cloning project.  I can never find good enough help, but if I can clone myself then I will have the perfect minion.  I just need to get the mental programing right to make them follow my every command.  Then I can start genetic manipulation to give them abilities.  HAHAHAHA Oh yes I will be unstoppable.  You will all bow to my superior intellect.  It is only a matter of….  Did I just start monologuing on my own to do list?  Also did I actually type out “HAHAHAHA”? Maybe my psychiatrist was right about me having narcissistic tendencies.  I guess I shouldn’t have killed him. 
  • Watch my evening shows.  There better be new episodes or someone is going to pay dearly.  Clip shows do not count as new episodes either.  Someone will pay for reruns, but if I have to watch one more clip show Captain Cool is going to have company in his death trap.
  • Record an episode of my podcast “The Magnificast”.  Blackmail or threaten someone until they agree to edit it because I am not ever doing that again. 
  • Sleep.