Fiction Fragment Friday

This is my first time trying to write Noir. I have run a noir campaign, but never really tried to write it in fiction format. I have been struggling with creativity the past week as mental stresses get to me. Because of that I wanted something very different this week and instead of going the easy route I wanted to push myself.


My breath caught as she walked into my office.  I’ve had plenty of pretty faces walk into my office, but there was something special about this one.  Her body swayed with a power that demanded your complete attention.  Sapphire eyes that could burn a man if he made direct contact with them locked onto me.  Her tongue played on her upper lip before speaking.  “Mr. Boil I dearly hope you have an update on my case.”

    “Of course, Ms. Hitchens.  Please have a seat.”  I was proud of myself for not letting my voice crack under her appraise gaze.  I pointed to the chair across from my desk, but she sashed right past it and slid onto the edge of my desk.  Her bare leg brushed against my arm as she smoothed down her dress with her left hand.  Her right hand sat on my desk next to the falcon statue from my other case.  I glanced up to see that she was staring down at my open notebooks.  Those eyes were not missing any detail.

    My mind was screaming at me with conflicting signals.  Part of me wanted to do anything she might ask in the hopes of pleasing her.  The rest of me screamed to grab the revolver sitting on my desk and unload it into her head before she ate me alive.  I had never felt such strong instincts about a client before.  It was a feeling more suited for the mysterious things that live in the shadows of our world.  Speaking of shadows, the ones created by the streetlamps glowing through the blinds on my front window highlighted her body in ways that a private detective should not notice about a client.

      “Mr. Boil I’m not paying you to stare at me.”  She reached out and pulled my fedora up slightly with a single finger so she could force eye contact with me.  “Perhaps after you’ve found my property, we can see about such leisure activity.”  She ran her hand down the side of my face.  “After all I do believe in business before pleasure.”  Leaning over me in a manor that left no doubt she wanted my eyes to wander she took my scotch and finished it with one gulp.  If the drink had any effect on her she did not show it.

    I forced my eyes away from her and down to my notes.  It was difficult to breathe, and my suit felt far too warm all the sudden.  Keeping my eyes off her let me regain my composure.  “As it happens, I have already found your missing necklace.  Sammy the Fox and his army of street urchins picked it from the pocket of your jewel thief before she could sell it.  From there they had a bit of misfortune when their warehouse burned down so they sold it fairly cheaply to Packrat Jimmy.”

    “I assume you procured it from this Packrat Jimmy?”  There was a demand in her voice that I could feel in the air.  I continued to avoid looking at her, but even her voice seemed to be having an impact on me.

    “Uhm, well not exactly.”  I felt stupid stumbling over my words.  I recomposed myself before speaking again.  “See Jimmy’s pawn shop burned down that evening.  Don’t worry though your necklace is one of the few items that survived.  Darndest thing despite sitting in a pile of ash it was still as shiny as you described it according to Lieutenant Malone.”

    “So, you have it.”  It was not a question, but a statement that sent chills down my spine.

    “Not exactly.  The cops took it as evidence.  It’s down at precinct 7 for now.  I’m sure they can get the case all wrapped up and get your property back to you in no more than a month.”

        She lifted her hand and slammed it back down on my desk.  “That’s not good enough.”   With her other hand she reached out and turned my face back towards her.  I felt smaller under her gaze.  “That necklace was to be a wedding gift for an associate of mine.  It was meant to send a message and you are telling me that I won’t have it by the ceremony.  That will not due.”  She brought her face very close to mine so I could not help but stare directly into her eyes.  I could feel her breath against my lips as she spoke.  “I don’t care what you have to do, you are going to get my property back from the police tonight.”  Her voice took a much softer tone.  “If you do you will be rewarded in ways you can only imagine.” 

               Her lips pressed against mine in a kiss more passionate than anything I had previously experienced.  In that moment I knew that I would have done anything she had asked of me.  Her desire was the only thing in the world that could possibly matter.  When she pulled back from me she was smiling and licked her lips.  I could not quite close my mouth as my lower lip was still trembling.  “Your wish is my command.”  The words had left me before I knew that I was speaking.  Something in the back of my brain was screaming that these were not my words.  I told it to shut up savoring the memory of her kiss. 

               “I know you will darling.”  She slid off my desk and with the same powerful strut headed to my front door.  “I do love mortals.”  I heard her words, but they didn’t make any sense.  My head was foggy like I had drunk far too much.  I could see my reflection in the glass of the front window, but for some reason hers did not seem to be there.  “You have until tomorrow night.  Do not disappoint me.”

               “Never my lady.”  Again, the words were out before I knew that I was speaking.  When she walked out my door, I found my body trembling.  I grasped my revolver in my hand and with it returned a feeling of control.  My breathing returned to a normal pace, but my head was still fighting through the haze.  The revolver fit back into my hidden shoulder holster and once again I finally felt as if I was regaining control.  I’m not usually a sucker for a pretty face, but I couldn’t deny the effect that she had on me. 

               I reached out an grabbed my phone dialing up the seventh precinct.  After a few rings a familiar voice answered.  “Hey Max I’m gonna need to cash in one of those favors you owe me.”  Despite my uneasiness there was no way I was going to let her down.